


What is this I am feeling? Do you feel it too?

by LandingStrutts



Series: Flesh and Wolf [2]
Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Attraction, BBC, Canon Gay Relationship, Caves, Childhood Memories, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Honesty, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Zombie Apocalypse, The Rising (In the Flesh), United Kingdom, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 04:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2011668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LandingStrutts/pseuds/LandingStrutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick's been keeping a secret from him. He'll be leaving for the military. Alone in their secret refuge cave, two friends begin to find out what they mean to each other before he leaves. But can he return Kieren's feelings?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What is this I am feeling? Do you feel it too?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WeepingKettle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeepingKettle/gifts), [Loooreleii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loooreleii/gifts).



There is a small uncontrolled laugh, "Rick, uhm." hands are splayed out in front of him but he cannot see a thing. "Don't you think it is just a bit dark in here? I love this place but when I can't see anything inside this cave, I get the creepies." Kieren whispers harshly. Without even needing to see him, he could easily find him just by following his scent. He is right behind his best friend, Rick Macy. Kieren Walker knows that he is within an arms length of the man he has been secretly developing a crush for over the past 2 years. The more he thinks about it recently, it might just be a bit more of a crush as of late because it is getting increasingly harder to be in his presence without looking dead at him. Butterflies course through his stomach as tingling radiates out from his chest. Yes, this has definitely become more than a crush. 

Rick stop rather abruptly on purpose. Kieren couldn't see where he was going but could sense Rick stopping so he also abruptly and on purpose ended up rushing up into the back of Rick. Right into Rick's wool coat that is actually much softer than it has any right to be. 

"Ooomph..." Rick felt the thick firm weight of Ren upon his back and it actually surprised him and caused a satifying smile to run across his face ever so briefly. Next thing he know thought, he had lost his balance and both of them ended up falling on dusky, firm ground on the floor of the cave. 

Rick was prepared for this and ever so quick to respond. He made sure that when they fell, he turned around and lunged his arms around Ren so that he could do his best to break his fall so that no harm would come to his mate. Kieren was a bit surprised with the fact that he got to actually feel Rick's new improved non-teenage body. They ended up with Kieren laying on top of Rick as they both settled on the cold ground.

It is quiet because neither says anything immediately, there are too many thoughts running around in both their heads. They haven't been best friends for very long, maybe slightly over a year and a half, but they have known each other since having a friendly fight over a Lego piece in kindergarten. Kieren remembers things that he did way back then. He is smart enough to know that these were key moments for him because he pin down situations where he is able to remember when it was the first time that maybe he knew something was different about him. 

He couldn't explain the feelings he had back then but he knew that it would be best to keep quiet about such things. Rick felt unusually warm and comforting at the young age of five. Ren remembers getting a physical response at the time, another thing that he couldn't explain. He would get this tickle just underneath the center of his ribcage. It would make him breathe out of sorts for a few minutes. But when you are that age, it was easy enough to dismiss things that you have no clue what they mean. Nonetheless, it is implanted in his brain and the memory is as fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

"Ren?" Rick shifts underneath Kieren ever so slightly, "What are you doing?" It is pitch black in the cave. Kieren is resting both of his slender hands over the wool coat Rick was wearing. It was a bit damp and itchy-like but it was also warm and it was on Ricks firm body. The body of the young man he had grown into. It was something that Kieren was appreciating more and more on a regular basis by letting his dark brown eyes rush over Rick's body as he noticed the strong toned upper back and thick forearms. 

In addition to that, Kieren noticed other things about Rick as of late and it is starting to take up his thoughts many times during the day and especially at night time when he is resting in his bedroom. Ricks chest had changed from boney and flat to wide and firm. So soft to the touch. Kieren admits that he has jokingly poked at Rick's chest in the recent past when they are cutting up just so he can get a quick appreciation of the man that Rick has become. 

Rick is handsome and beautiful and had garnered the attention of most of the female population in their last year in high school. Even since graduation, he continues to be someone all the girls flaunt over. This creates an uneasiness in Kieren that he can't explain. It even makes him angry sometimes but, why?

Kieren tries to push these thoughts out of his head because it inevitably causes his mind to think in overdrive and just create some unexplained angst he would prefer not to deal with. He knows that Rick doesn't think of him "that way". Even if for some reason he did think "that way", he wouldn't think "that way" about him. Kieren is just a tall, lanky, quiet and hopelessly awkward nineteen year old who feels trapped in a teenagers body.

Finally, "Ren, what in the hell are you doing man? (he is silently giggling), "You are supposed to keep a safe distance. Now look at us. You're lying on ..." Rick stops talking because he knows what he wants to say, but when he says something like what he is thinking, he would prefer to see the expression on Kieren's face.

"Oh well just fuck you then. I'm so sorry there Mr. Rick Perfect." sarcasm aside, Ren continues, "I just got a bit creeped out when I couldn't feel you directly in front of me so I tried to catch up but ended up slamming right into you. I am so sorry mate." There is a laugh attached at the end.

Then it is quiet. It's like staring into a black void. There is no light anywhere. But Kieren is lying on top of Rick, and it is surprisingly comfortable also no other place that either of them would prefer to be. They both have caught there breath and can actually feel each others breath on the other's face. 

Kieren is a burst of spearmint mixed with his own natural smell. Rick is quietly but quickly inhaling as much of Ren's scent as he can. Rick is the smell of ale and a bit of cheese, he had just had dinner. KIeren can also smell the scent of sweat and nervousness just underneath him. The mixed scent of Rick's clean freshly washed clothes and his very light musk cologne is something that Kieren is starting to love more and more. The intoxicating scent of Rick, the man.

"Well, Ren. Here we are." Rick's hands have made their way to the sides of Kieren's hips. He absent-mindedly places his fingers in belt hoops on both sides. The rest of his hand is firmly settled on Kieren's waist and ass. There is nothing but slow, deep breaths for a number of seconds. Kieren flinches first because he can see his friend underneath him and right now he thinks he would hate to see the look on Rick's face.

He launches backwards and ends up finding the side of the cave behind him and uses it to get into the standing position. "Rick, come on get up. Stop being so lazy like Jem says you are. Get your ass up and how about using those matches along with the candles you brought with you." He hears shuffling of a sorts and then he is patting off his clothes even though he isn't sure if there is dirt on him.

"I don't care what your sister says about me, I am not lazy. You know that as well as I. Now you are supposed to be standing up for there. I am your friend for a reason, so you can stick up for me when your sister is making remarks." He fumbles for the candles that he has in his wool jacket's pocket.

The match is struck and a small explosion of yellow light burst before both of there faces. It doesn't take either one of them to find each other's eyes. Kieren is illuminated in a yellow glow and the reflection of the match light in his deep brown eyes is like it is behind brown stain glassed globes. Rick can't help but look deeper into Kieren's eyes as he starts to lean a tiny bit closer.

"Hey now, where did you put the candles you said you had?" Kieren can't look too long because he doesn't know exactly what he would do if he stared and slipped closer. It is better to step back and move away like this magnetic attraction between the two of them doesn't exist.

Rick fumbles and eventually lights two candles when he finds them and gives one to Kieren. "There Ren, how is that bloke? Are you not quite so scared now? That large rock I was telling you about is up here a bit further." Kieren follows until he sees Rick sitting down on some large boulder that is about waist high and can easily fit 3 or four people on it if they wall wanted to sit and rest.

"See, I told you. A grand bit of rock that rivals the best padded sofa. Have a seat right next to me. Tell me that this isn't a comfortable piece of granite." He is using his hand to show the place where he wants him to sit.

"I don't know Rick, it doesn't look that incredibly comfortable to me." He places his candle down on another rock on the side of the cave. Kieren is geting this jittery feeling in his chest and his palms are beginning to sweat. This is close quarters and he is getting unusually nervous being in such a small space with the man he grew up with and has a bit of a crush on. "I tell you what Rick, why don't I..."

Before Kieren can even process what has happened, Rick has grabbed him around the waist with a firm grip and draws him down onto the rock but plants Kieren directly between is legs. He scoots back to lean back on the caves wall and then whispers in Kieren's ear. "Ren, shhhh. quiet. no words mate. just follow me lead." He pulls a willing Kieren back further till he is nestled between his thighs and Kieren's back is flush up against his crotch and back.

"Rick, what...? What are you doing?" Somewhere from deep inside, Rick has courage and determination to follow through with what he has been wanting to do with Kieren for the last 6 months.

"Ren, it is ok. Just... relax and enjoy this. We're friends, this isn't a problem for you is it? I just don't want you falling again or getting scared by anything. I am here. I am your best friend. This is my job. To watch over and protect you. What would your parents say if I let something happen to you?" He stops and ends up bringing his arms around Kieren's waist a bit more and then relaxing and waiting for Kieren's answer by resting his chin on his left shoulder. 

He is getting a little flustered also because this is the closest he has been physically to Kieren since they wrestled outside his home back in the summer. He watches him and smells his candy apple fragrance of his hair, follows the shadow of his cheekbone as it ends up curving around at the end of his jaw. He takes in, what only can be described as beauty, from his best friend and smiles a bit as a warm fluttering rushes across his chest sending goose pimples down his arms and tingling down into the tips of his fingers.

Kieren breaths in ever so slowly because, Oh my god, what is happening? I can't breath. He gathers some strand of determination and slowly turns his head toward Rick only stopping when his ear flushes up against the stubbled upper lip of Rick. And there is hot moist breath breathing in his ear and down his neck. It sends a quiver down his spine that almost stops at the base of his spine but ends up sending sparks and small throbs of blood out to his dick. OH fuck, this is not happening.

"Rick, this... What is this? What are you doing? Is this what we are and is this how best friends are with each other because let me tell you, I am pretty sure I don't remember doing this with any of my other friends." he has twisted just a bit more so his one eye can look dead on into Ricks eyes.

"This is what you want it to be Ren. We have been mates since kindergarten so I don't see the problem." He begins to push Kieren forward and off of him. He took a chance with him and thought he might feel the same way but obviously he was mistaken. He hopes he just doesn't tell anyone. This would not make his dad a happy man to say the least.

Kieren is pushing back attempting to stop Rick. "No no, that is not what I said. No, this is ... nice. Even nicer than I ever imagined or dreamt. Don't get me wrong Rick, I do ... I do like this." Kieren grabs his one hand with both of his in a soft yet firm and encouraging grip. "I like this a lot actually. I just,.. I just want to know what this mean. I know you dated that one girl in sixth grade and haven't dated anyone since. And, we know all about me. The freak of Roarton. No one has or likely ever will want to date me." he quickly looks away as he chocked up on that last sentence which he wasn't expecting. It was miserable knowing that you are not what other people want or see as attractive. It is difficult being different but he has learned to cope so far.

"Hey, Hey!! Ren, please. Just stop mate. Don't say things like that. Hey..." Rick takes the palm of his hand and cups the side of Kieren's face and slowly turns him toward back his way. "Ren, I.. I have liked you .... like for such a long time. Even before sixth grade. You were and are always fun to be with. You make me laugh and you make me smile. Everything I have ever wanted in a ... mate, I see in you. You care about meet unconditionally. That says so much to me Ren." He is now slowly petting the side of Kierens face with small steady strokes.

Tears are escaping from the side of Kierens eyes. There aren't many but it is the size of the tears that amaze Rick. He takes a thumb and wipes it across the lower part of his cheek capturing a large drop. Kieren looks at what he does and his eyes follow Ricks thumb as he pushes is past his shiny lips and pushes it into his mouth as his pink tongue meets it half way. He looks at Kieren and just keeps his thumb in his mouth for half a minute, sucking.

"Really? that is just so... that's not what I ever expected you to say." Kieren is smiling. " you know when I first knew I liked you and wanted to be your friend. When we were making something in art class one day in first grade and you got that tasty paste glue on the side of your mouth. I knew something wasn't quite right when I leaned over and licked it off of our face. It was the best tasting glue ever. I'll never forget that look you made. I was jumping for joy inside and I didn't even know why. I also remember that we didn't talk to each other the rest of the day but even our mothers had a fit trying to separate us when it was time to go home."

"Yes, I remember that. Quite vividly Ren, that's when that internal battle began with me. But in the end, I always came back to you." Rick gets very serious and with a low tone says, "Ren, if anything were to ever happen to me, I know I would beg the good Lord to bring me back to life so I could be with to you." He closes his eyes and rests his cheek on Kierens shoulder. Kieren is smiling because he knows that Rick is telling him the truth and is being honest with him.

"That is good to know. Hopefully, if you are a walking corpse or zombie, your feeling won't change. I know for certain that mine wouldn't" He rubs his nose gently on Ricks forehead and Rick just hums in contentment. "But you know what Rick, I told my parents that I would be back for dinner and I am pretty sure dad is going to wonder where I am. The man worries."

"Ok, fine." Both men are beaming at each other. "I tell you what Ren, why don't we make this like a sort of date thing next time if you are up for that?"

"That is bloody fine with me. I was wondering if you want to might have a date or something like that. Why don't we do it this Friday night? I will bring some of my fags so we can smoke. Maybe you can get a bottle of your dad's White lightening and we can make a night of it. What do you say"

"Ren, how could I possibly refuse that invitation? Who knows, maybe we can mess around a bit. You know, if you want."

"Yeah, I know. and yes, messing around. Sounds like fun." He inhales deeply when smiling at Rick and blows out the candle leaving them in total darkness. 

At least now, both of them see a new bright light at the end of the tunnel.


End file.
